Midway through grammar school I made a discovery. Michael Jackson, Prince, and most of the other rock stars I stood admiring one day in the record store display window were black. From this massive insight followed others. Practically all of the wittiest, the coolest, the strongest, the most agile, and the most precocious kids I knew were black (in part this was because most of the whites I knew were unusually dull and spoiled). In the locker room, the black boys really did seem to have bigger dicks. Although it has been proven untrue scientifically, you couldn't have told me that at the time. Next to them my voice was flat, my personality dull, my life-style bland, my complexion pallid. I didn't yet know race was the national obsession. I thought obsessing about blacks was, like masturbation, my dirty little secret.
As embarrassing as all of this was, its importance shouldn't be overlooked. The most promising thing about spilled milk is that it has ventured from its container. The most promising thing about the Cool White, the white b-boy, the wannabe (or to update Norman Mailer's term, the white nigga), is that he is defying in some way the circumstances of his birth. He harbors curiosity and admiration for a people his people have stepped on. He lives by his fascinations rather than his habits, his awkwardness rather than his cool. But it is the desire to be cool that drives him. And it is this desire--not only his guilt--that blacks must use to judo some of his power away from him.
My romanticization of blacks was also a way to elevate myself. If blacks were the superior race, then by association I too was superior. This conceit, shared by all white niggas, is founded on (what seems to us) our rare ability to mingle with blacks who other whites find inaccessible. In fact, we flatter ourselves; fitting in requires no uncommon talent. The main reason more whites don't become white niggas--instead of just white rap fans--is that getting down with blacks, like any relationship, requires that precious, ego-endangering resource: effort.
The wigger mindset
A reader forwards a reference to this passage by Hebrew wigger / wigger expert William Upski Wimsatt. In line with my own perception of what motivates these types, Wimsatt acknowledges "romanticization of blacks was also a way to elevate myself":